I find that the biggest lie in all of life is the sense that the truth is key. The truth is the farthest thing from something that pleases and soothes humanity. It is in fact carefully constructed lies that allows us to function from a day to day basis. So where does that leave the ilk like myself who crave honesty?
It leaves us in an ultimate Sophie's choice.
And its that conundrum that came to my head as I sat across the couch from her, basked in the armor of mt alcoholic courage. On the drive back to her house I had rehearsed the words in my head so very many times. Each one slicked with a sheen of charisma and careful wordsmith.
Oh how I imagined how my artful confession would shock but thrill her. We were already so painfully close, surely the exaltation of my true emotions would strike a chord in her? A mutually assured attraction surely lied dormant just beneath the surface.
But as the words came stumbling fast and clumsily from my lips I realized how foolish and antiqued my line of thinking had been.
The truth is not what people want. Its the illusion of truth with a veneer of sweet lies and projected expectations that sates humanity.
We had an interesting thing going on. Drinks after work, 90's movies at night and in that there was a foundation and a wash of murky intentions. But so long as they stated ambiguous there was no risk to her. And perhaps that was her safe spot, just as much as mine was in the light of truth. Did I have anymore reason to dictate the pass and setting than she did?
But as I confessed so ineloquently I knew that truth is not always the best medicine. Perhaps it is a candy best meant for fools and children. Because while there is often light in the truth, their is security in the dark.
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